


somewhere, a place for us

by scattered_dream



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst and Feels, Hopeful Ending, Lea's thoughts, M/M, Spoilers - Kingdom Hearts Dream Drop Distance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-23
Updated: 2018-05-23
Packaged: 2019-05-10 11:06:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14735792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scattered_dream/pseuds/scattered_dream
Summary: He tried picturing what it would be like if he eventually met Roxas once again. They would work things out. The pain and frustration would melt away into the warm smiles and banter they had always shared. Maybe they would even get ice cream.





	somewhere, a place for us

It was always the same. No matter how hard he tried, he could never reach Roxas. 

If someone had asked Axel how he felt about him, he would have remarked that Roxas was absolutely infuriating. There were countless moments that Axel had sighed in frustration at his stubbornness, leaving the boy to brood in his quarters.

There was also pain associated with Roxas, pain he took out on Axel, who had long ago admitted to himself that it was warranted. Axel remembered clearly, even today, one of his last moments he’d shared with Roxas… 

Roxas had yelled at him, face red with anger and keyblade ready in his hand, prepared to fight. Axel couldn’t do anything to comfort him. He knew their friendship was based on lies layered on more lies, and Organization XIII’s agenda did nothing to help the two of them, that was for sure. 

The last conversation he’d had with Roxas was when he left The Organization, leaving Axel behind with a sadness that followed him every day. He felt _emptier_ than he normally did, even as a Nobody. He was… grieving. Grieving for a friendship that seemed destined to end in a whirlwind of deception, anger, and deep-seated sorrow. Any happiness they had was always taken away, snatched from them before they could even take it in. 

Was that how it would always be between the two of them? 

Reminders of his friend were everywhere; in the white room of thirteen chairs, one more was unoccupied. Roxas’s name was spat by Xemnas and Saix, who claimed Roxas was never worth the trouble in the first place. Axel tried to tune out any mention of Roxas, because it was obvious that nobody there truly cared for him in the way Axel did; to the rest of Organization XIII, he was always a puppet and nothing more, merely a pawn in their chess game. Roxas was right about one thing: they certainly didn’t miss him. They’d moved on to the next plan of action while Axel grieved silently, walking around with his only sense of purpose gone. _No one would miss me,_ Roxas had said. 

Axel missed him. 

When he had a day off, he no longer went to the top of the tower. He knew that no one would be waiting for him and it felt wrong to go there without his best friend. 

Instead, he would sit on his bed, reach underneath his pillow, and pull out the envelope Roxas had left for him. He’d carefully take out the ice cream stick and stare at it for awhile, twirling it a little in between his gloved fingers, before the word _Winner_ started to mock him and he had to put it away again. 

Organization XIII remained a hierarchy. The ones at the top knew everything that was going on at all times, the ones at the bottom  _thought_ they knew what was going on, and the ones in the middle were confused as hell. Axel belonged to the middle group, exhausted from trying to figure out who was being deceptive and who was telling the truth. The toxicity of the castle was slowly suffocating Axel, and he left without speaking a word to anyone. He didn’t need to say his goodbyes. 

While days of searching for Roxas turned into weeks and weeks turned into months, Axel tried to remain hopeful. He traveled across many different worlds, including ones that he didn’t think were likely for his friend to reside. He’d dragged Kairi’s ass off of Destiny Islands and he’d even questioned Hayner, Pence, and Olette. They didn’t seem to know who he was talking about, but Axel figured that was just another trick by Xemnas or Ansem the Wise; he’d heard rumor by Zexion that there were two alternate versions of Twilight Town, and Sora had visited one while Roxas had lived in the other. Kairi didn’t prove particularly useful except to lure Sora further into the hands of Xemnas, which wasn’t what Axel had intended, tumbling him further into a mess of deceit and betrayal. 

As more and more time passed, Axel’s hope began to wane as he grew tired of searching for Roxas with no results. 

He tried picturing what it would be like if he eventually met Roxas once again. They would work things out. The pain and frustration would melt away into the warm smiles and banter they had always shared. Maybe they would even get ice cream. 

When Axel reached Sora, he apologized for mistakenly kidnapping Kairi and essentially handing her straight to Xemnas. He helped Sora fight the seemingly endless hordes of dusks, using every last bit of his strength because it felt like the right thing to do (although he couldn’t _really_ feel anything; he was a Nobody after all). For some reason, he was compelled to help Sora in that moment. Was it because Sora was connected to Roxas? Or was Axel becoming fond of the kid? He was getting too sentimental… 

Next thing he knew, he found himself lying down and watching his body slowly fade away, scraps of his essence dissolving in thin air. Knowing that he didn’t have a whole existence was ironic as he left that life, so much so that he couldn’t help but laugh bitterly as he shared a last conversation with Sora. Xemnas had always made it clear that Nobodies did not truly exist, but Axel finally felt as close as he’d ever come to actually existing when he felt his body leave the world, because how could he have been nothing before when he was watching himself _truly_ become nothingness now? 

He’d always remember the look on Sora’s face as this transpired. It was a mixture of confusion, sadness, and anger. He could swear he had _felt_ those emotions pouring out of Sora, just from that one look, and he’d idly wondered why Sora was so upset.

Why should Sora care so much about Axel? They had only known each other in brief quarrels and dark shadows. Axel was supposed to be the _bad guy_ in Sora’s eyes. But as he talked with Sora, he made the connection, and he was glad he did. It was why he mentioned it to Sora; if he could get a message across to Roxas, somewhere inside of Sora, then it would be worth it to use his last breaths to confess: _He made me feel like I had a heart_. 

He didn’t know how it was possible, but Axel had been given another chance, reborn as his old self. He had a distinct feeling of waking up from a long-ass sleep, and as he stretched to get used to moving his body once again, a singular name sat on the tip of his tongue: _Roxas_. 

Life had gone on without Axel for who knows how long, and yet here he was, nothing on his mind but the beautiful, fiery boy that was always present in his deepest memories. No matter where he went or who he was, it seemed that Axel was always brought back to the better days in the back of his mind — days spent atop the tower in Twilight Town with Roxas by his side, the two of them laughing or remaining silent and content in each other’s company, the brilliant sunset welcoming them with open arms. 

Though Axel had a feeling he’d never experience days like those ever again, he still felt the familiar warmth in his chest that those sunsets had always given him, and the warmth spread until he finally felt truly _alive._

If he couldn’t find Roxas as Axel, he would find him as Lea. Somewhere, there was a place for them. 

**Author's Note:**

> Here's hoping that everything will work out for Roxas and Lea (and Xion!) in Kingdom Hearts III! ♥


End file.
